Bad news: Pegasus is Dead. Good News: Bearantula is Way Cooler
Paranormal researchers were heartbroken to find the withered husk of Pegasus in a dilapidated barn but pleasantly surprised to find the majestic winged horse had been slain by a Bearantula.
THREESON, AZ—An investigation following the path of the long-sought winged horse, Pegasus, ended with the grizzly discovery of its corpse, sapped of its innards and tangled in webs in an abandoned barn in Threeson, Arizona. The discovery shocked the paranormal science community until investigators realized that the webbing the horse was encased in was made up of tarantula and grizzly bear DNA. Soon after, the researchers on the scene were snatched up by giant hairy legs, wrapped in webbing and devoured by an enormous half-tarantula, half-bear. The entire event was captured on video and broadcast on Facebook live, causing ripples of excitement throughout the scientific and paranormal community.
“It’s really a happy accident. Pegasus was pretty lame to begin with,” said researcher Morton Philberg, “we never even dreamed something as badass as a Bearantula was out there.”
“…Pegasus was pretty lame to begin with,” said researcher Morton Philberg, “we never even dreamed something as badass as a Bearantula was out there.”
Despite the loss of several colleagues, researchers remain enthusiastic. “They would have been thrilled to have been killed by something so damn cool. I’m envious,” Philberg said with giddiness in his voice.
Little has been learned about Bearantula since its discovery because every person to go near it is killed. Each death only fuels the fires of glee as mythical beast geeks revel in the new discovery. “We’ve been hungry for something more awesome than Bigfoot and Nessie for a long time. We couldn’t be more thrilled to be pursuing something that is doing more than leaving footprints and DNA samples. It’s actually murdering us,” Philberg cheered. Visit the Paranormal Research Brotherhood Facebook page to catch the live feed of paranormal investigators steadily being devoured by Bearantula. The post currently has over 13 million likes.
